VERB! That's what's happenin'!

It finally happened - what every English major dreams of. My name has now become a verb. Not my real name, of course, but my less-than-double-secret-name, Jingle.

I was informed this morning that apparently, in certain circles, "to be jingled" means to have other persons have intimate physical relations disturbingly closeby. For example, "Liz is worried about being jingled this weekend because she is in a condo with mostly couples." The high council is still working out the exact usage, but this is the gist of it.

And YOU - and you know who you are - don't even THINK about blaming this on me!


Monday meanderings

It's Monday night which means I'll be hard-pressed to turn off Animal Planet's Animal Cops (Michigan, SanFran, Houston, etc) marathon. I don't know why I watch this show - it usually just pisses me off. I could never be responsible for dealing with people who abused animals. I'd be arrested for beating the crap out of somebody.

Blew off SnB - again. Went to dinner and did a few rows of Inny tonight. Here's where she stands:
Slowly but surely. I was going to make the 'long version' but I think I may measure the hem-to-armhole distance on something that I know fits and see if it's closer to the short version or the long. Yes, I'm saying this largely because I'm tired of knitting it already. I am SUCH a process knitter. "What? I've mastered the 36-row repeat? Bored now..."

I worked on Kermit while waiting for the staff meeting to start this morning. People were most impressed, although I think it was more the self-striping yarn than anything else. I've turned the heel and have about an inch, inch and a half before I get to start to close on the toes. The picture makes it look kind of wonky - actually, my knitting makes it look wonky - but we'll see if it works.

Apparently there's some low-grade chatter going on about going on an Alaskan cruise in '07. I was fairly excited about going to Puerta Vallarta, but this may actually take precedence. I HATE cruises, but they keep coming up with ones I want to go on! Actually, an Alaskan cruise would probably be the last one I would take. At a glance, it looks like the price range is around $800-1000, not including the flight out to the West Coast. I guess I'll start saving money for that as soon as Italia is in the books.

Speaking of Italy - we have a SUPER tentative master plan. Leave the second week of Sept. and head to Venice, spend 3-4 days there, take the train to Firenze for a couple of days there, then train to Rome for another handful of days. If it ends up being too tight, we may cut out the pitstop in Firenze and maybe I'll just go back for a couple of days after Melyssa has to leave. She's a little more hamstrung by vacation time and work schedule than I am.


And your Team Hangover captain is...


[Thanks to Beadslut for the nifty button that perfectly describes my day]

Last night was the holiday party and for some reason I decided to be stupid. Didn't eat enough, didn't drink enough water, and drank too much beer. Damn you Coors Light! I don't even LIKE Coors Light. There was dancing and drinking and kick-ass brownies. And contraptions that I couldn't begin to explain the uses of.

See, the party was at an S&M club. How I let myself be dragged into these things, I will never know. But aside from the various and sundry padded benches and what have you scattered about the cavernous, warehouse-y structure, it was kinda no big deal. Thank goodness for the shuttle buses though - finding my way to and fro sketchy SW is so not my idea of a good time.

It wasn't a particularly late night but apparently I did a fair amt of damage in a brief amount of time and I've been paying for it ever since. The good news is I talked to Santofer this morning (when they called at noon and woke me up). The four of them are on vacation in Phoenix for the tail end of her maternity leave. They were on their way to the zoo. Our lives are in such two totally different places.

I was finally able to pick up needles around 7 tonight so I started playing back my Tivo'd The Italian Job and worked on Inny. Just over 13" and counting - just about halfway done.


I'm sure this is my fault, too

You'd think I would have a ton of frequent flier miles with the frequency with which I clearly fly to Atlanta to hold a gun to Stick's head, no? She has decided to do a cat bed or two for her kids (and maybe L's) running rampant in Buckhead for the Olympics. I merely suggested it as a possible project. Yvonne has started a Team Cat Bed and Ms. Stick says she signed up for the team. However, I just checked out Yvonne's blog and she says she hasn't heard from anyone. So we'll see what happens.

My extra yarn for Rose and Inny was delivered to work today, but now - as usual - I'm second
-guessing my Olympic event. I'm being seduced by Alice from Magknits. I was thinking of doing it in a mossy green and khaki instead. I may swatch the design this weekend with some of the scrap yarn I have leftover from the Blanket Which Shall Not Be Named. It's still two weeks from today so I have plenty of time to decide what I want to do; although I'll have to buy yarn next week if I decide to go with Alice.


Workin' hard...

...or hardly working?

After an incredibly productive morning - rebuilt computer and ordered new backup power sources - I've reverted back to type: blog surfing and instant messaging. I'm just putting off scheduling my sonogram and making my to-do list. Of course, I did manage to knit 15 rows of Banff while waiting for Windows Updates to load - it's the modern-day equivalent to watching paint dry.

I found this while cruising the long list of Knitting Olympic participants and their blogs and stole this from

The list of places I've visited in 2005:
[I'm going to forget half the places I went; it's just what I do]

Columbus, OH
Dayton, OH
Philadelphia, PA
Baltimore, MD
Atlanta, GA
Providence, RI
Fenwick Island, DE
wilds of Central PA
Charlotte & Concord, NC
Amish Country & Long Pond, PA
Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Costa Maya, MX*
Ocho Rios, Jamaica*
Georgetown, Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands*
Princess Cays, Bahamas*

[* cruise ports]


Inny, Inny - who can I turn to?

Inny and I have had a fairly tumultuous relationship but I'm finally learning what she needs from me in order to be happy. She doesn't mind sharing my attention but she does want to receive the majority of it. She has no qualms at all about lulling me into a false sense of security before fouling me up with something as basic as a moss stitch. Most importantly, I've learned to work on other projects while watching Lost; I knocked out an inch or so on Kermit. Who says I can't be trained?

I went to KH tonight for late night - either they managed to drink all the wine before we got there or tonight was a dry night. Both are unthinkable. I did manage to knock out a couple of rows of Inny; I've finished about half of the first side so far. I shudder to think of the shoulder shaping, but I'll jump off that bridge when it comes.

This weekend is the holiday party and I'm just not that excited about it. Probably b/c I haven't been out and about in forever, but I could just as soon stay home and watch tv. When I first started knitting, it was to give me something to do with my hands while I was watching tv (so I wouldn't eat). Now I almost feel like I watch tv to have something to do with my eyes while I'm knitting.

Bought my ticket for Atlanta yesterday - all set for St. Patty's/race weekend. I think we're going to go check out the new Georgia Aquarium and maybe go on a tour at Coca-Cola. It probably won't be anywhere near as snazzy as the tour at Guinness, but little would be.


There's something seriously wrong with me

I essentially spent the entire weekend knitting. I alternated between ye olde Inishmore and Kermit, but probably spent more time on Inny. All those knits through the back loop and mini cables and chart reading. And do you know where I made the biggest mistake?

Moss stitch.

I spent an hour fixing a moss stitch mistake. I thought long and hard about just leaving it but I knew it was going to be another of those situations where it was going to drive me bonkers every time I looked at it, so I attacked my work with a dpn, a crochet hook and a Yeungling. It all worked out in the end.

As for Kermit, I clumsily turned the heel and have done a couple of inches along the foot, but it's slow going. I somehow lost a stitch somewhere in the heel-turning portion of our program, going from 70 to 69. I've chosen to ignore it. I'm getting good at it.

So, apparently everyone has a Knitting Olympics project in mind except for moi.
Ketchup Girl - multidirectional scarf
Steph - Zeeby bag or something with her hot pink yarn
Stick - hmmm, she may not have decided yet either
I'm going to need to come up with something soon so I can email the Harlot and figure out if I need to get any yarn/needles.


I am NOT an Enabler!!!

Having said that, the Yarn Harlot has brainstormed the 2006 Knitting Olympics. We all know my rousing success with completing objects so this is either setting myself up for disaster or it's going to provide me with the encouragement and the deadline I need to get my act in gear. Who am I kidding, I'm just doing it for the blog button.

Now, the rub is that I have to come up with a project that I think I have the faintest hope of finishing in 16 days, from Opening Ceremonies to the extinguishing of the flame (which always makes me cry). I could cast on Soliel or Banff or my long-forgotten Booga Bag, or head to the Klubhouse for something new.

*ahem* Since I thought the Knitting Olympics was a clever idea, I forwarded the idea to a couple of friends, just to share information. At least one of these friends has managed to confuse me sharing a tidbit of information with being held at gunpoint and being forced to buy new yarn, needles and patterns and embark on an impossible quest. It must also be noted that aforementioned twisted friend forwarded the idea to two additional people, yet THEIR involvement is also my responsibility. I'm not entirely sure how that works, but I try not to delve too deeply into the inner workings of her mind. It's a scary place.

I don't really have any plans this weekend so it looks like some quality time with Kermit (the sock that's been frogged repeatedly) and Inishmore.


Back to the OR

Unfortunately, Señor Calcetín developed complications overnight and is back in surgery this afternoon.

The good news is, Hogan is doing extremely well on her bolero jacket. Here she is posing with her work so that Stick could send an update.

My allergy to exercise is rearing its ugly head. I strolled over to a friend's house to watch Lost last night and today - Snotfest '06. Joy.


Vegas, baby!

No, I'm not heading to Nevada anytime soon, but Chad & Jimmie are - in more ways than one. In addition to heading to Vegas for testing in two weeks, Chimmie is apparently going to be on an episode of NBC's show, Las Vegas, tentatively scheduled to air the first week of February. Mmmm, Josh Duhamel and Chimmie all in one episode. Good times.

After frogging 3" of Inishmore on Sunday, I cast back on Monday morning and have only gotten about 5" into it. I'm a slow knitter under normal circumstances, but this particular pattern takes me about 20 minutes per row and that's not counting having to undo the odd mistake. Once again, I performed a minor boo-boo while working on Inishmore and trying to catch up on Lost. How long will it take me to learn that the two just don't mix?

I swung by Knit Happens on Saturday afternoon so that M could get a replacement sheep and I could ask my sock mentor about those crazy backwards yarnovers. She said I was doing it right - YAY ME! - but as I was pulling the sock out of my bag to bring to work this a.m., apparently five or so stitches and yarnovers committed wooly suicide and leapt off the needle. If I have any chance of saving it, it will be under the flourescent lighting in my office. Surgery is scheduled for lunchtime.


Checklist part deux

Bears rolling belly-up in their last performance of the season - check
Frogging 3" of Inishmore because somehow it's behaving differently than the test swatch - check
Forget to reset alarm so that I'm woken up at 7:00 a.m. on a day I don't have work - check

I'm cruising right along, no?
And I forgot to mention the American tragedy I witnessed a couple of nights ago. I was channel-surfing latenight on Saturday and noticed that Top Gun was coming on at 1:00 a.m. There are certain movies in the world that I find it difficult to turn off, regardless of the time, regardless of whether or not I own it on DVD - Top Gun is one of them.

So, I flip on over to WGN and settle in, promising myself I'd flip it off after the volleyball scene, thereby giving myself a definite bedtime. I'm cruising along, muttering the lines aloud in the silence of my room, complaining at all of the fun "Edited for Television" omissions that have been made, then we get to the pre-volleyball scene. You know, the one where they're in the classroom and she's advising him on his work ("If I reversed on a hard cross I could immediately go to guns on him...") and she invites him to dinner. Blah blah blah, "It takes a lot more than just fancy flying," she walks away, he smiles, and what is SUPPOSED to happen is he gets up to walk out, Slider mimics the model airplane going down, he mockingly says "Crash and burn, Mav?", Mav leans in, sniffs, says "Slider, you stink!", Slider slyly sniffs his underarms, Sundown laughs at him, Slider slams the model airplane down on the desk and you hear the opening bars of Kenny Loggins' "Playing with the Boys" as we switch the volleyball scene.

What happened was, "It takes a lot more than just fancy flying," end scene, then Mav's driving up to her house on his motorcycle.

EXCUSE ME?!? Now, I'm all for editing for content and even editing for time on television but you do NOT cut the volleyball scene out of Top Gun. Drop a flyby, drop a few seconds out of each dogfight, but the volleyball scene? That's just wrong.



Beer - check
Hint of Lime Tostitos - check
Salsa - check
Bears gear - check
Coffee - check
Inishmore - check
Cookies - baking
Bears v. Panthers - kickoff pending

So far, the Seahawks, Steelers and the Broncos are through to their respective conference championship games. Let's go Bears!

I'm debating the wisdom of working on Inishmore while watching a big game and drinking beer, but since when have I done the right thing? And the Panthers have already scored; I don't think passing on the beer is an option. At least it's in my snazzy -immie bottle coozy.

Ketchup Girl RULES!

It's a Sunday and I'm posting from home. AWWW YEAH! M came over Friday night after work (and minor bribery in the form of chips, a swirl and soft tacos at Rio Grande) and after hours of head-scratching and DOS for dummies, we managed to save enough of my critical documents - read pictures and music - to comfortably reinstall Windows and embark on a weekend of software CD plugging.

Knoppix rules and people who create viruses just need to be beaten. That's all I have to say on the matter.


The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

...while also the title of a Clint Eastwood movie, pretty much sums up my weekend.

The Good: MY YARN ARRIVED!!! All that ceaseless worrying about having to actually complete a project I have on needles was for naught! Lainey's just gonna have to wait til the Inishmore makes me cry;

The Bad: I have got to attack my room. It's out of control. There are bills to be paid and software to be found. And the laundry. Dear God, the laundry; and

The Ugly: The laptop. I have no words for the fear and trepedation that my home computer situation breeds in my soul. Fortunately, Lauren & M may have some software that will make at least file salvage possible before beginning the arduous process of rebuilding the sucker from the ground up.

Wish me luck - on all of the above.


This cannot be happening

So, Tuesday night I noticed my computer was a little squirrely so I decided to do the responsible thing. I toddled off to Staples after work yesterday and bought updated anti-virus software then dashed home to install it. Dropped the CD in the drive, clicked on cdstart, followed the onscreen directions, did the requisite reboot then....SPLAT.


Big pretty wildflower wallpaper and that's all she wrote. Can't access anything. Drives unmapped, extensions disassociated, the whole kit and kaboodle. It really just makes me want to cry. Not to mention kick myself for letting my system go so long without definition updates. There's no anger quite like that which is self-directed.

M had a simlar thing happen to her a couple of months ago so I'll be throwing myself on her mercy this weekend. Hopefully not all will be lost.

The only good news to come out of yesterday was flipping on restrictor plate testing last night and seeing JG and -immie tucked up nose to tail at Daytona. Just made me smile. Can't wait for Daytona. 38 days and counting.


Year of the Sweater

Some time ago I decided I was finally going to try my Inishmore, but I didn't want to undertake a big ol' sweater all by my lonesome so I told all of my little knitting minions that 2006 was to be the Year of the Sweater. Since I get blamed for everyone's activities anyway, I figured I'd just drag them down with me.

Stick, not being remotely obsessive or compulsive, is already done with the back and one front panel of her Bolero Jacket from Debbie Bliss. On the opposite end of the spectrum, M & S haven't even chosen their patterns yet. M is on the verge of narrowing it down between a hoodie, a pullover and a cardigan, and S has some expensive, hot pink yarn that she bought last year and has no idea what she wants to make.

Me, I'm just waiting for my Snickerdoodle to get here so I can start on my Inishmore this weekend. Knit Picks claims it shipped yesterday so hopefully it'll get here by Friday. I didn't shell out for expedited shipping though, so I'm not holding my breath. I can at least show you what my practice swatch looks like. Not too shabby if I say so myself. I haven't decided if doing my sweater in a lighter color than the swatch is good or bad; we'll just have to wait and see.

Da Bears' playoff game is Sunday afternoon. I think VAM and I are going to head to Bailey's to watch it but I may bring my feeble attempt at a sock with me. Although I know the knitting community winces at the notion of taking yarn into a smoky sports bar, the fact that these suckers are going on my feet (which don't exactly smell like roses...all of the time) makes me a little more flexible.


!@$#%^&* Asparagus

Stick is often reduced to helpless giggles after receiving text messages that read, "!#$%*&! asparagus pee!" Somehow I always manage to forget that I've consumed asparagus and am briefly terrified by the thought that something has crawled up inside me and died in order to produce such a rancid odor. Nah, it's just vegetables.

Steph affectionately refers to me as WebGirl, and in an effort to live up to my name, I went about researching asparagus pee this a.m. From The Straight Dope:

Serious scientific research in this field dates back to 1891, when M. Nencki tentatively identified a compound known as methanethiol as the culprit. The odor appears within an hour after eating just a few spears of the offending vegetable.

According to Allison and McWhirter (1956), the ability to produce the odor is controlled by a single autosomal (i.e., non-sex-related) dominant gene. In a sample of 115 persons, 46 were rendered fragrant by asparagus and 63 were not. (This leaves 6 mysteriously unaccounted for. Urology is an inexact science, I guess.)

In 1975 one Robert H. White, then with the chemistry department at the University of California at San Diego, found that the odor-causing chemical was not methanethiol after all.

Instead, using gas chromatography-mass spectrometry (Bob was obviously not one to screw around), he found that the aroma was in fact caused by several S-methyl thioesters, specifically S-methyl thioacrylate and S-methyl 3-(methylthio)thiopropionate.

So, I have a mutant smelly asparagus pee gene.


Awwwww yeah!

Testing at Daytona started today. Watching Speed's condensed coverage now - JG was fastest but Chimmie was right behind him in this morning's practice session; Chimmie was 2nd to B. Elliott in the afternoon session. As usual, -immie deflected the praise to the guys in the engine shop and the rest of the team who worked hard in the off-season. Just love him.

I needed to take a break from knitting. I finally finished the third disk of Lost (season 1) but apparently I got a little too wrapped up in what was going on with Claire and Sawyer and Jack and the rest of the folks from flight 815 that I either dropped a stitch or did something else colossally stupid and now I have to unknit about 250 stitches to try to figure out what's going on.

I'm not amused.

Wine might help.


And I wonder why I'm single

This was yet another fab weekend of putting myself out there into situations where I can't help but meet single young men. Let's see, Friday night started with Jason's going-away party, part 4. We went to Il Mee for Korean BBQ - mmmmm, meat. I thought it was pretty tasty but not everyone was impressed. I definitely ate more than I should have. The curse of the all-you-can-eat buffet.

After din-din, big sis, P and I went to see a late-night showing of Walk the Line. I'm not totally sure what my reaction is. I mean, I liked their performances I guess but maybe I didn't like the direction? I can't quite put my finger on it.

Saturday was just as lame, maybe moreso. A mani-pedi with Melyssa and knitting/movies at her place after. I finished my Hermione - YAY - and did a couple of rows on the Inishmore of doom swatch. Today was more knitting with different friends. I showed my friend Pam the basics of knitting and purling and we watched Must Love Dogs. I just love John Cusack.

Apparently Pete is en route to Afghanistan. He left Mississippi last night, spent some QT in Jersey today and should be over the Atlantic now. Although he and I are barely friends anymore, I'll add him to the list of people serving in our armed forces that I now have to worry about - Lickie, Craig, Bastard and Turtle to name a few. I'm sure there are others serving that I've forgotten but I hope they're looked after as well. I'm just sick of having to worry about it.

I'm watching Dr. No (shocking!) and they just paddled their canoe ashore right next to Dunn's River Falls - hey, I've been there! And here comes the famous shot of Honey Ryder/Ursula Andress coming out of the sea. They haven't shown the pier where our cruise ship docked yet.

I've more or less stopped complaining about my single status and more or less have determined that I'll be single for eternity and have tried to figure out what I can have instead of cats that will still fulfill my spinster requirements. At the same time, I fully acknowledge that I don't do anything to meet people. No personal ads (answering or placing), no letting friends set me up on blind dates, no bar trawling, no taking classes, joining groups or even going out to places were I won't just hang out with the same people all the time.

Even though I fully acknowledge that it's my own personality foibles that keep me locked in this pattern, I don't know what to do about it. Everytime I try to go against my nature to be more outgoing and more personable and more flirtatious I just end up feeling like a fraud and even more uncomfortablein my own skin than I usually am. Who knows.


Living up to the name

It's been pretty hard to live up to the name of this blog lately. NASCAR's in the midst of its brief offseason and I haven't really sat still long enough to do a whole lot of knitting. Whatever delusions I had of accomplishing much knitting over the course of NYE weekend were quickly put to rest - there was Guinness present.

I did work quite a bit on my Hermione the other night and just need to dig out my dpns so I can finish up the crown. Fortunately, D.C. hasn't been particularly cold this winter so I'm not dying without woolen headgear. Next up, I have GOT to work on my Inishmore test. The Inishmore is like my Holy Grail - my Eleanor - of sweaters. I probably shouldn't even waste my time but if I never cast the sucker on, I'll never know. I definitely have to cast it on before the season starts, because I'll never be able to do all that detail work while watching a race. Socks and Banff are good race-day knitting.

Daytona testing starts next week. There will be half-hour snippets on Speed next week, but I haven't decided if I'm going to watch or not. I'll prolly Tivo them and ffwd to see if there are any Chimmie sightings.

The most exciting NASCAR development is that Stick bought our tickets for the Golden Corral 500!!! W'HOO! And that teensy matter of her working her connections to get us pit passes for race day! Now I just have to keep her unbroken through St. Patty's so we'll be ready to play at o'dark-thirty on the 19th. What do you think the chances are that she won't have fun and we won't have to go through another round of, "Jingle, it's all your fault"?


My New Year's Resolution...kinda

My dad and Hallmark inadvertantly provided me with my New Year's resolution in the form of my birthday e-card. Cheesy, but here goes:

Embrace each day
Laugh often
Smile like you mean it
Seek your own style
Think your own way
Believe in how strong you are
Trust your gut
Be unique
Be sweet
Be sassy

Be yourself

It's a lot to take on and at LEAST as difficult as "losing weight" or "going to the gym" - quite possibly moreso for me. We'll see what happens.


Happy New Year!

Once again, I need a vacation from my vacation. Lake Anna was big fun with only minimal drama; for the most part, everyone had a blast and we're looking into group rates for Betty Ford or any other detoxing center of our choice.

Things I learned in the last 96 hours:

  • None of our brains work the same way and I think that's a good thing - Apples to Apples.
  • Nearly everyone cheats at drinking games
  • Motley excels at bodily functions
  • We all snore
  • 40 Year-Old Virgin is way funnier with subtitles on
  • None of us could ever chug syrup without becoming violently ill
  • For some reason, lying on a dock at o'dark-thirty in the morning is both a good idea and hysterically funny
  • After a while, blue tarps, baby oil and kitchen utensils seem like perfectly normal sex-essories
  • No trip is complete without hard hats/protective headgear: see testing KEG's protective gear or sliding down the steps headfirst on a cot mattress
  • It is possible to laugh your way to tighter abs - my gut is killing me.
  • Who needs shenanigans when you've got plastic wrap and aluminum foil?
  • We make excellent guinea pigs for Bang and Snatch's wedding presents
  • Next year's house needs more furniture and more bedrooms
  • Stick really shouldn't shoot tequila. Ever.
  • Do it!
  • I seriously overestimated the amount of quiet, knitting time I'd have at my disposal (but I did manage to get a little work done on my Hermione)