Warm, fuzzy feelings
I love to fly. LOVE it! I wake up at the crack of dawn like a little kid on Christmas morning whenever I have to travel, get to the airport early and am all excited to hop on my plane, buckle my seat belt and let 'er rip. This is largely why this story just makes me laugh instead of freak out.
Tuesday morning, I got to the airport a good two hours early, spent some quality time with my McGriddle and my coffee while waiting for my flight to be called, then boarded my plane with the rest of my Zone 4 posse. We finally get all snuggled in and ready to go and the first officer gets on the horn and does his little song and dance.
"Blah blah blah, Seth is our captain this morning, I'm First Officer Joe and Lindsay will be serving you in the cabin today."*
Whoa whoa whoa! First thought: Dear G-d, 2Lips is in charge of flying the plane. Second thought: I'm all for maintaining a certain professional distance between my flight crew and myself. I don't need to be on a first name basis with them, we're not going out for drinks, I'm not getting them a Christmas present - we can maintain a certain level of mystery in our relationship. Please, you be Captain Jones and First Officer Smith and I'll be your happy passenger. That's all I'm saying.
So, I chuckled to myself (as I so often do) and dozed through Lindsay explaining the safety protocol on our Embraer whatever whatever commuter jet. Although I know it bothers a lot of people, I especially love takeoffs and landings (especially at National; I know - I'm sick). So, we're sitting at the end of the long-ass runway at Port Columbus International Airport and Joe gets back on the microphone to inform us we're first in line for takeoff. Excellent, here we go.
We make the last turn to lineup at the end of the runway and pause momentarily. They do whatever magical pilot sh!t it is they do up front, and the pitch of the engines gets higher and I feel the thrust throw me back into my seat. I grin to myself as the plane starts to roll...
For the record, NOT a sound you want to hear during takeoff.
Engines throttle back and we make a lazy left back off the runway.
Here comes our friend Joe: "Well, folks, some of you may have noticed but the cockpit door just fell open. We've got that all taken care of now and we're going to circle back to the end of the runway and we should be up in the air in just a few moments."
Um. The cockpit door fell open? Excellent! I get funny looks from security folks for my knitting needles, but Elmer Fudd and Yosemite Sam can't manage to lock a door.